


i forgot everything (but i didn't forget you)

by LavenderMandarin



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Amnesia, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Kara Danvers is a Ray of Sunshine, Kara Forgets Who She Is, Lena Luthor Knows Kara Danvers Is Supergirl, Sort Of, Temporary Amnesia
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-13
Updated: 2020-10-13
Packaged: 2021-03-07 16:07:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,276
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26980369
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LavenderMandarin/pseuds/LavenderMandarin
Summary: Lex kidnaps Kara and drugs her, making her forget her past. He fills in the blanks for her, but Kara remembers things, things she shouldn't be able to, things that aren't part of Lex's story.Lex Luthor is a good man... or is he?
Relationships: Kara Danvers/Lena Luthor
Comments: 10
Kudos: 97





	i forgot everything (but i didn't forget you)

Lex Luthor is a good man.

Kara knows this. Lex was the one who woke her up, who told her about her life, who helped her remember. Lex had helped her learn who she was and how to fight, how to work with her superpowers. She remembers it now.

_“Your name is Supergirl. You’re a superhero. You’re helping me save the world. You had a terrible accident and all your memories were wiped away, but I promise I’ll help you. I make you even stronger than you were before.”_

She feels a little voice in her head tell her that’s not right. Lex is not a good man. But, she doesn’t know where it comes from, so she can’t listen to it. 

Lex tells her his last name one day and the little voice jumps up and down, screaming one name over and over again. _Lena. Lena. Lena!_

There are parts of her memory she can’t explain. Things that shouldn’t make sense but come to the surface anyway. She remembers voices, names, people that aren’t part of the story Lex told her she’d been living. It’s a short list, but all the names feel too important to forget.

Alex, Kal, _Lena._

The last name is in her mind every day. She carries it like a token of her past, refusing to give it away. Some part of her knows that she cannot ever tell Lex she remembers these names.

The fog over her memories clears a little each time she remembers another feeling, another touch, another voice, another name.

But, the facts still stand; Lex Luthor is a good man.

* * *

More and more of her past comes back to her each and every day.

Memories of her history with a family, another planet, traveling through outer space. They’re mere glimpses, feelings that her gut tells her took place in specific places. There are feelings, too. The feeling of the sun on her skin, _the first time_ her mind tells her. The warmth of voices unfamiliar now but familiar in a way she can’t place, can’t _remember._

But, they’re only feelings, just hallucinations, delusions. She tells herself every day, _that’s all they are. They’re not real._

It sounds less and less convincing each and every day that passes.

* * *

One day, Lex calls her over to show her one of his newer inventions.

She walks into the room, expecting another genius idea on how to stop the DEO from taking over and terrorizing the Earth.

What she gets instead feels like a punch to the gut; the sudden feeling of nausea is so strong that she keels over, wrapping her arms around her abdomen.

She sees Lex hurry over, his expression unreadable, blurry through her tears.

“Supergirl?”

She passes out.

She comes to under a sunlamp, another one of Lex’s genius inventions. It supercharges her special cells, the cells he had given her after an injection he’d created. The sunlight doesn’t feel warm like it usually does, though. It feels artificial, cheap, _fake._

She wonders what it would be like to feel the real sun on her skin.

* * *

Lex brings her out into the world one day. He brings her out, not to enjoy the sun, not to learn about the real world, but to fight.

The DEO is ready to fight, he says, and they have to defeat them once and for all. He says he knows that she’ll be able to do it, that he knows just how _strong_ she is now.

She flies onto the battlefield mid-fight and everything just stops. Time slows and then stops, and even the world stops spinning, because she _knows_ these people.

She sees a redhead, dressed in a black outfit, fighting hand-to-hand with one of her teammates. Somehow, she knows her and not him, even when they’ve been working together for the past few months. _Alex,_ her mind supplies, _Alex._

She watches the commotion, the chaos from above, surveying the scene, trying not to let her strange memories get the best of her. 

She sees other faces she knows she’s supposed to recognize, faces of people her mind tells her were her _family._

She finally lands on the battlefield and the battle stops. Everyone stops fighting and turns to look at her.

The redhead, Alex, speaks first, “Kara!”

It sounds right. It sounds like she’s coming home, like everything is falling into place… except it’s not and she still doesn’t know who she is and which memories are real and which are fake, so she draws back, stands at Lex’s side, and is forced to watch the way her face falls.

Then, she hears it. It’s a mere whisper, but her superpowers let her pick up on it.

“Kara.” It’s said like a revelation, a realization, filled with awe and shock.

She turns, looking, searching, for the origin and then she sees green eyes and everything comes flooding back.

She sees memories of her first family, of Krypton, of the Phantom Zone. She sees Alex, Eliza, the Danvers’s. She sees Kenny dying for her secrets, sees Kal trying to keep her safe, sees Alex becoming her best friend. She sees herself meeting Lena, feels the way Lena’s eyes bore into her from the very beginning. She sees their friendship, their secrets, their betrayals, their healing. She sees everything and it all comes back together. 

She spins on her heel, heat vision flaring, burning her eyes white-hot.

“Lex.”

* * *

When she comes back to herself, Lex is gone, and she can’t bear to look at what she’s done, so she covers her eyes, sinks to her knees, and gives in to the tears.

She feels Alex rush to her side first, crying her own silent tears and humming an old lullaby. Lena comes next, falling on her knees beside Kara and holding her carefully, sharing the burden with Alex. Then, like the dam has been broken, everyone else comes. Everyone else hugs her and talks to her and comforts her and the puzzle is gone. It’s just her family now.

* * *

She talks to Lena and Alex later that night, curled up on her couch together, reliving everything they’ve been through. She feels the way Alex trembles when she recalls finding out Kara wasn’t anywhere to be found, feels the hot tears Lena sheds when she recalls coming home to an empty apartment, feels the way her own voice wavers as she recalls the time she’d spent with Lex.

She reassures them and they reassure her, and it’s just them. Just three broken people trying to find their way back to each other. Alex leaves when Kelly calls and Kara lets her leave, Kara lets her go because she’s not in any more danger, because Alex isn’t either.

She lets her go and Lena stays with her.

Lena stays and recounts what’s happened in the few months Kara has been gone, the things that have changed, the big fights and the little victories. 

At the end, she tells Kara, “it didn’t mean anything to me, not really.”

“What do you mean by that?”

“It didn’t mean anything to me because you weren’t there.”

Kara spends the rest of the night thinking about it, even as Lena falls asleep against her shoulders, light snores echoing throughout the apartment, and when she wakes as the sun is coming up, Kara speaks.

“I missed you so much.” The unspoken words hang in the air, but they both know, they both have them, they’re just not ready to say them, not yet.

“I missed you, too,” Lena answers, voice still heavy with sleep and something else, and Kara feels everything coming back together, piece by piece.

**Author's Note:**

> This was honestly, genuinely, very fun to write and I'm honestly obsessed with amnesia ideas so watch out because I have a different idea as well hehe <3
> 
> Thanks to all for reading!!!
> 
> also i'm on tumblr @catargott


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